i seems to have alot of things to say.. about me, life, things around and people around.. but i don't seems to know where to start.. these few days too many things have happened.. it's always like this.. when i have the time to blog, i don't know what to write.. well, this is me..

many things have changed since the start of the year.. good and bad.. people step in and out of my life.. i realised i shouldn't have stepped into the cyber world 10months plus ago.. more sad news than good news.. i admit i've met quite afew good people.. but nevertheless, bad people are still there.. i can't say that they are bad, but it's just that there are too many misunderstandings.. too many differences.. more trouble caused as days goes by..

knowing isa is one of the things that happened to me in cyber world.. is it good or bad? i don't qualify to judge.. i can't make any comment on that.. loving her is never wrong in my life.. but if i didn't meet her on 18th dec, what would my life be? still flirting around? will i still be a good student? i don't know.. no one knows.. i did regret once in a while.. when my world come crushing down..

but for people around me.. those i met online, other than gina, hy and probably princey, i regretted knowing the rest.. including pat, hyuk, blue, nique, ryl, eve and so on.. think about it.. i don't belong to cyber world.. i have problems with almost everyone.. those who i have communication breakdown with.. i admit i'm not someone good.. but no matter how bad a person is, he/she still has their good points.. but sad to say, most of them only notice my bad points.. the bad things i do.. the way i treat them.. no matter how bad i am, i sincerely treated them nice at least once.. no doubt about that..

i'm leaving this place.. this online world.. i'm blocking everyone i know in the cyber world except isa.. if anything were to happen between me and her, i would be able to say that i have severe all ties with cyber world.. all names.. all events.. all memories will be erased.. if we ever meet on the road, don't worry, i will pretend that i don't know you people..

i apologise to those who treat me well.. i know people like ryl, eve, hyuk, nique, blue and so on treated me well.. it's just that i'm too pesimissitic.. i don't fit to be ur friends.. i know it well.. i don't qualify to be someone in ur life.. i'm leaving.. don't worry... once i settle my problem with nique, i'm leaving.. leaving this cyber world who once gave me so many problems.. so many sweet memories..

for that, i thank all those who came in and out of my life.. at least i know, once in my life, there's someone who treated me like a bro in the past.. someone they respect.. but like eve said, i don't deserve that respect.. leave it that way.. i'm as negative as before.. i'm sorry for doing this.. i know i'm selfish, but i'm sure all of u will live better without me.. i'm just a burden.. -smilez-

updating as frequent as i can is the only way to let those who care knows about my daily life.. no longer will jason be around for you people to bitch about.. no longer will there be jason to bitch about you people.. no longer will there be jason to care.. no longer will there be jason who fuck u upside down for ur mistakes.. no longer will there be a jason in cyber world who sucks.. -smilez-

so much of nonsense said, let's talk about love.. just finished a show.. it's about a couple who are both killers.. in the end, the guy died.. the girl, to take revenge for the guy, died with the enermy.. she's shot to death... dying for the one u love.. is it foolish or great? maybe i'm not someone who loves anyone that much, i find it foolish.. maybe i have different thinking..